10 Valentine Love Secrets

We're all touched when we see the couple who has been together for years, walking hand-in-hand, obviously still in love and showing it. There are so many things that may go wrong that can kill the love in relationships that we wonder, "How did they do it?" How did they keep their love lasting forever? What is their secret?

Some people say it's hard work, others say it's magical and they just found their soulmates. Both can be true. It helps if you find your soulmate, and it helps if you are both willing to work hard. But there are also special secrets that help keep love alive, and the couples that stay in love know this.

10 Love Secrets of Couples that Stay in Love Forever:

1) Make "having fun together" a priority. Work and children and every day life are all important issues, but "fun" is the glue that bonds two lovers.

2) Talk about the good times. Create good memories now, and then reminisce. Never forget why you choose to be with this person.

3) Don't keep secrets. Secrets erode the love and the trust. You can have private thoughts, but that's different than secrets from your mate. Here's a rule: don't share any information about him/her with others that you haven't shared with him/her first.

4) Think of your mate as your best friend. Then behave in this relationship like you do with true friends.

5) Give each other a break. People aren't perfect so allow for human error. Don't assume that your mate is trying to hurt you when he or she makes a simple mistake.

6) Celebrate your differences. Don't fight to be right. Differences create sparks between you (some of the sparks cause arguments, but others cause passion). Realize that men and women think differently, have different values, and behave in different ways. Show that you appreciate his or her quirks, i.e. "That's so cute, you're such a man!" Or, "I know you like things perfect, so it's okay that you're running late honey."

7) Make deals that work for both of you. When you're upset, state how you feel and what you want. Then compromise, finding joint solutions to those issues so they don't occur again.

8) Keep your own friends and hobbies. It keeps you interesting and less likely to be jealous of your mate's time and friends.

9) Make yourself happy first. It's a myth that it's a mate's job to make the other one happy, and it doesn't work. Instead, focus on your own happiness, making a deal that each of you will let the other know if and when there is a problem.

10) Focus on how much you are alike. Regularly make statements like, "It's amazing that we both like that, and that our mothers were both .., and that you feel that way too."

These are the 10 secrets to staying in love forever. Take this list to your mate and discuss it. Then put it into action so that you can have the romantic relationship you have always wanted!

About The Author-- Carolyn Bushong, a Denver,CO licensed therapist, helps couples and singles in her office, on-line,& by phone. Author of: Loving Him Without Losing You, Bring Back the Man You Fell in Love With, & The 7 Dumbest Relationship Mistakes. Has appeared on Oprah. http://www.carolynsays.com. 303-333-1888.

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