5 Ways to Get Her On Top

For many heterosexual men having their women in the active, or "on top," position during sex is one of the most physically intense and emotionally gratifying ways to make love. Unfortunately a lot of women are very hesitant to take on this dominant role for two reasons; they don't like their bodies so they don't want their partner's to see any more of their bodies than is necessary and they are afraid they will "do it wrong." Men can help ease these concerns by being aware of how vulnerable being on top makes their woman feel, and by responding with care and sensitivity.

Below are five of the best ways to make your woman feel comfortable about getting on top.

1. Tell her how Beautiful She is - I know it sounds trite, but sincerely telling her just how hot, sexy, and gorgeous you think she is while in the heat of the moment will not only make her feel loved, but will give her the confidence she needs to put herself out there. Most on-top positions put the woman's body on display, a large reason why men like them so much.

But for a woman who would rather have sex in the dark, having her lover's gaze wander over her "flawed" figure is not an appealing thought. So, try picking specific parts of her body and tell her exactly why it turns you on. The key is to make it personal. Instead of telling her how much breasts in general excite you, tell her why you think her breasts are so sexy. The more personal you make the compliment, the more likely she will be to "show off" her assets for you.

2. Tell her how good it feels - Just as men sometimes suffer from performance anxiety, women are also prone to feeling nervous when taking control of a sexual situation. She may be worried about hurting you, about not living up to your expectations, or about not comparing to your past lovers. Verbally encouraging her to continue and telling her how good what she is doing feels will let her know she is on the right track to pleasing you.The more praise she receives, the more adventurous she will be.

3. Use a blindfold - If tip number one doesn't work, then get a little kinky and try using a blindfold on her to help ease her insecurities. She will feel better if she can't see you looking at her. Logically this doesn't make any sense, but trust me, emotionally it works. By putting her in the dark she'll be able to relax as though the lights were off, and you'll be able to get the full views you desire. It's a winning situation for everyone. Plus, you might think she's even hotter in the blindfold!

4. Have her face away from you - Putting her in positions where she doesn't have to look directly at you may relieve some of her anxiety, especially if she is shy. Even though she may love her body and not mind you ogling it to your heart's content, she may be uneasy opening herself up and being that sexual.

Taking on a "passive role" during sex means that little of her own sexual personality has to come through - she can just follow your lead. Being on top, however, forces her to confront her own sexual nature in a very different way. Again, the best thing is for you to be patient, encouraging, and to let her discover her own "groove." After all, you may be surprised to discover your usually delicate partner is a wild cat inside, or you may see a much softer woman emerge from an otherwise assertive lover...

5. Guide her in the beginning - Finally, if your woman is really weary about taking control, ease her into it by putting her physically on top but still keeping rhythmic and penetrative control. Put your hands on her hips and have her follow your movements, just like she would if you were on top. This can give some women a feeling of security while getting comfortable with the new positions. Don't be surprised though if after a couple minutes up there she removes your hands and begins to set the pace herself. Once she notices how good you feel in "just that spot" she will undoubtedly take control so that she is pleasing herself...and you in the process of course!

Taking control for the first time sexually is always a bit of an emotional challenge, but these simple suggestions should give your lover the confidence she needs to get on top. Good Luck!

About The Author-- Author of the infamous Speak Sexy Blog, Rose Rivera is a sassy sexologist who enjoys answering your naughty or embarrassing sex questions. Also, visit her official site, Speak Sexy Online, for books, lingerie, and adult games!

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