Is It Really Making Love?

In biblical times it was referred to as "knowing". Today the act of sexual intercourse between couples is most often relegated to "having sex" or "making love".

It isn't that "making love" is really negative. It's definitely preferable to "having sex" particularly when your married.

I would just like to take a few minutes to examine how our language might be coloring our perception of the act and the relationship between a husband and wife.

When we look at the term to "know" - among other looser definitions one of them includes - "be cognizant or aware of a fact or a specific piece of information".

To "have sex" implies the act - without emotional involvement.

To "make love" has been generally regarded as the more intimate version of intercourse between a husband and wife. Then I started thinking about it. If "love" already exists - how can you make it? If the cake is already done you don't make it again.

In a way "making" love implies that you are attempting to create something that doesn't exist. You may have the ingredients for love but - it isn't there in it's ultimate form.

So if our beliefs lead to our thoughts which dictate our actions and our intent is to "make love" with our spouse, isn't making love a self-defeating action?

Aren't we still trying to use the external or physical to create something internal? Something so delicate and beautiful yet blazing with passion that men and women have dedicated volumes to it's description?

The human race has tried to expand on something that was written almost 2000 years ago where in the Greek language the word Charity was "Agape" or the broader sense of the word "Love.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

1) Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

2) And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

3) And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

4) Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

5) Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

6) Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

7) Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

8) Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

9) For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.

10) But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

11) When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

12) For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

13) And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

And yes - much was written long before then too.

In the end - if you understand the power of your thoughts and words to initiate your actions. The next time you embrace your spouse and wish to enjoy those moments of pure bliss - remember this; you aren't "making love" - you don't need to create something new - you are simply sharing an intimate moment (hour or two). The physical expression of the love that already exists between the two of you.

About The Author-- Kira Wagner is a living example of recognizing choices to achieve tremendous results. Born to blind parents, she's aware that the only handicaps are those we place on ourselves. Kira Wagner is a speaker, writer and coach. For additional information visit my website at http://www.sexualfreedomforthemarriedwoman.com.

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